Shapiro couldn’t recruit Trestman

The Sports Corner has learned Marc Trestman, head coach of the Montreal Allouettes, pulled himself out of the University of Miami’s interviewing process, contrary to reports after The U hired Al Golden.
“There just wasn’t any point in getting paid by a school that doesn’t have a booster providing players and coaches, for lack of a better term, boats and hoes,” said Trestman.
“I mean, they offered $2 million per year, and maybe that’s good enough for Golden, but that ain’t me.”
But why, then, would Trestman choose to continue his head coaching career in Montreal?
The answer is clear: strippers in Canada are allowed to get naked.
“That’s a big deal for me,” said Trestman, the former Minnesota Golden Gophers quarterback.
Nevin Shapiro, the booster that admitted to providing illegal benefits to University of Miami players and is currently serving a 20-year prison sentence for his role in a Ponzi scheme, tried to cut a deal with Trestman to lure him to the coaching job.
Shapiro, whilst in prison, friended Trestman on Facebook, followed him on Twitter, and even tried to add him on Nexopia.
Shapiro admitted it was a similar tactic to recruiting 17-year-old underprivileged high school football players.
“I figure if a kid, or even a grown man who I want to coach football at my alma mater, gets a Facebook message offering free hookers on a yacht, they’re not going to turn it down,” said Shapiro.
However, Trestman said he just couldn’t trust a guy that was still in prison.
“I needed those boats, I needed those hoes, but I just wanted them as soon as possible, not in however many years it takes for this guy to get paroled,” he said.
“There’s no way I can recruit the best players in the state of Florida without those types of recruiting tools.”

Albert to the Chiefs at No. 15

With the No. 15 overall pick in the NFL Draft

The Kansas City Chiefs select…

Branden Albert, Offensive Line, University of Virginia.

Albert is 6’5” 309 lbs. and ran a 5.17 40-yard dash. 

The Chiefs got their guy. Earlier this week it was said they wanted to take Albert with the No. 5 overall pick. After Dorsey fell to them at 5, this draft is shaping up nicely for them. They still need a pass rusher to replace Jared Allen but they have so many holes it doesn’t really matter. The Chiefs also have a huge number of draft picks so trading a few away isn’t a huge deal. Albert should compete for a starting job somewhere on the offensive line whether it’s a guard or tackle. This is a bit of a steal for the Chiefs considering where Albert was thought to have been going in the draft. 

Details of the trade…

The Chiefs and Lions swap first rounders (17 for 15) and the Lions receive 3rd and 5th round picks from the Chiefs. 

Arizona is on the clock, Rashard Mendenhall must be getting tired of waiting. 

Williams to the Bears at No. 14

WIth the No. 14 overall pick in the NFL Draft

The Chicago Bears select…

Chris Williams, Offensive Tackle, Vanderbilt University.

Rex Grossman rejoice! Grossman’s inconsistency aside, not to mention Cedric Benson’s flakiness, the Bears offensive just got significantly better. Those players may never be the guys they were expected to be when they were drafted but investing in the team’s offensive line will give them a chance to make more plays than they have in the past. Williams is said to be a great pass blocker, giving Grossman more time to heave those bombs he loves and Bears fans have come to hate. Williams might not contribute in week one, but by the end of the season he will be in the rotation.

Detroit is on the clock, Mendenhall might be the pick here. 

Stewart to the Panthers at No. 13

With the No. 13 overall pick in the NFL Draft

The Carolina Panthers select…

Jonathan Stewart, Running back, University of Oregon.

Stewart is 5’10” 235 lbs. and ran a 4.48 40-yard dash. 

Considering they took DeAngelo Williams last year some people might be surprised by this but they wanted a running back by committee offense. Stewart might be my favorite player in the draft. Once he fully recovers from his toe injury he’ll be one of the dominant runners in the league. Stewart can run the 40 in the 4.3’s when he’s healthy. At 230 plus pounds that’s amazing. He’s a physical runner and combined with Williams, will form a devastating tandem. Carolina may be back at the top of the NFC south.

The Bears are on the clock, do they take a RB as well?

Clady to the Broncos at No. 12

WIth the No. 12 overall pick in the NFL Draft

The Denver Broncos select… 

Ryan Clady, Offensive Tackle, Boise State University.

Clady is 6’6” 309 lbs. and ran a 5.20 40-yard dash. 

Some people think Clady is more of a potential based pick. They say he still needs polishing before he can be a full-time NFL tackle. His measureables add up. With the Broncos reputation for running the ball and developing talent on the offensive line it makes the pick less of a risk for them than it would have for another team. If he can turn into a great tackle, Jay Cutler won’t have to worry about scrambling much anymore.

Carolina is on the clock at No. 13…

McKelvin to the Bills at No. 11

With the No. 11 overall pick in the NFL Draft

The Buffalo Bills select…

Leodis McKelvin, Cornerback, Troy University.

McKelvin is 5’10” 190 lbs. and ran a 4.38 40-yard dash. 

McKelvin can help in the return game, he’s got great speed but his size might be an issue. Remember, the Bills have to play against Randy Moss twice every season. Recent Troy alumni include DeMarcus Ware and Osi Umenyiora, the school is building a reputation for churning out NFL quality athletes. McKelvin should be a decent cover guy but there are so many solid corners in this draft it’s hard to say who will be the best in the long run. One thing’s for sure, if you need a corner, you’ll find one in this draft and expect them to start flying off the board pretty soon. 

Denver is on the board and are expected to go offensive lineman.

Mayo to the Pats at No. 10

With the No. 10 overall pick in the NFL Draft

The New England Patriots select…

Jerod Mayo, Inside Linebacker, University of Tennessee.

Mayo is 6’1” 242 lbs. and ran a 4.54 40-yard dash.

This is a great fit. The Patriots don’t have many holes so taking someone like Mayo and allowing him to learn from their veterans for a year before he becomes the guy in the middle of the defense is going to be incredibly valuable for Mayo’s development. Mayo has been flying up the board over the past few weeks and it’s no surprise that he’s gone as high as he has. Mayo is very athletic and will be given the chance to roam sideline to sideline thanks to all the talent surrounding him in New England. 

Now will we finally see a corner taken?

The draft is moving at such a fast pace I’m having trouble keeping up… Slow the F*ck down people!